The Knight Before Fuckheads

T'was the Knight before Fuckheads, and all through the camp
Not a creature was stirring, not even Rev's tramp

Our axes were hung by our bedsides with care
In hopes that ASSodomy soon would be there

The Fuckheads were partying, each in his tent
With hopes that their ho's were worth the gold that they'd spent

GE in his armour, and I in my helm
Had just committed to banish all dickheads from the realm

When out in the woods, there arose such a clatter
We sprang from our tents to see what was the matter

Away from our ho's we flew like a flash
It looked like a naked 50 yard dash

Twas moonlight on the helm of a spiteful young lass
One could tell from afar, twas a large piece of ass

When what to my wondering eyes should see,
But this lass scarf down six batches of biscotti.

She jumped from her horse, but she wasn't too quick
What could have gone wrong to create such a chick?

She approached with a torch, as we all stood in awe
Her eyes found The Rev, and she tightened her jaw

She said "You boys are silly, quit playing this game
and as for your Guild, I can't stand the name."

"As for me I'm the one that Origin should love.
Just look at my armour, it's as white as a dove."

If she breathed one more word, we know she would feel
The blade of our axes, contrived of forged steel

She parted her lips, as if again to speak
But all that emerged was a terrible shriek

For Krom had snuck up behind her you see
And leveled the bitch with the branch of a tree

She made not a sound, as she fell to the dirt
But 100 hams came out of her skirt

The body soon vanished, but the hams all remained
And back at the temple, she starts a new game

Rev turned with a smile, for he knew that we'd won
And pat Krom on the back, for the job was well done

As Fuckheads, we RULE!, and we know what's at stake
Now it's back to the ho's, for more sodomy and cake!

- Monty and Riva

A Fuckheads Original Theme

Rad Shit, Bad Shit, Dirty Rotten Twats,
30 Dirty Douche Bags Tied In A Knot,
Eat Out, Buttfuck, Nibble Gobble Chew,
We Are The Fuckheads, So Who The Fuck Are You?!

- Smoky